(Richmond, VA) After being presented with a fossil foolie award, recognizing Thomas Farrell, CEO, for his foolish plans to build a plant in Wise County, Mr. Farrell made a sober decision to swear off coal, and instead switch all their investments into puppy adoptions.

Somewhat resistant at first, Dominion called the police to boot the unassuming citizens, who were merely looking out for the moral fiber of the CEO. But, once he talked to them, and recognized the power of their arguments and their honesty.

“Truthfully, I thought that coal came from the coal fairy, not by blasting the tops off mountains!” said Mr. Farrell, “and global warming